Friends will let you down

For all my friends, including my wife, who’ve been having problems with their “friends”, I dedicate this post.

I’ve had this discussion with my wife a number of times about how she uses the term friend much more loosely than I do.  Her use has always been much more like Facebook’s, which is to lump most everyone into a group she calls friends.  While I have almost 400 ‘friends’ on Facebook, I can count the number of real friends I have on one, maybe two hands.  These are people who I would go out of my way to help if they needed it and, more importantly, I believe they would do the same for me.  The majority of the rest of my friends list is made up of acquaintances and co-workers.  Now, that’s not to say I don’t care about the folks on my friends list…I do, and I am more than willing to be an ear (or set of eyes) via email and Facebook to listen to you vent, discuss what may be going on in your life if you need someone to talk to about it, but I’m not going to be hopping a plane to come visit if you need a hug or a slap upside the head…and that’s the difference.  With my real friends, if they asked or I thought they needed it, I’d be on their doorstep ASAP to help out or smack some sense into them and expect no less in return.  From those I call friends, I would never expect any of the behavior described by Jody Watley in her big hit featuring Eric B. & Rakim:

“Smiles they hide behind
Never know what’s on their mind
Could be true deception
Jealousy and envy reign
Never want to see you get ahead
They just hold you back”

Back to the subject of this post, though, I think that when people have trouble with “friends” they should take a good look at whether that person is/was really a friend.  If they are/were, it is probably worth making the effort to fix the problem.  If they aren’t/weren’t, there’s probably no need to bother…and certainly no need to worry about it.

BTW…Don’t ask me which list you fall into.  I’ll not tell you and if you’re one of my real friends, you shouldn’t need to ask if you are.

Check out the video for Jody Watley’s “Friends”…

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