Rehash It the Right Way, Hollywood! (P366D22)

Hey, Hollywood, stop producing crappy remakes and poor rehashes.  Just off the top of my head, Miami Vice blew chunks.  Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx were not Crockett and Tubbs…Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas were.  And now you’re screwing up 21 Jump Street.  You’ve turned what was a cool, urban drama with a little humor into a stupid comedy starring Jonah Hill.  I guess, maybe, I get it:  stupid ass comedies like Superbad and The Hangover make money nowadays so why not make everything a stupid comedy.  Never mind that the TV show turned out one of the biggest actors of our time in Johnny Depp.

Since you’ve [Hollywood] such a lack of quality, original writing, I’m going to help you out with some suggestions for ways to cover your collective asses in a way that benefits us all.

Bring back:

1.  Saturday’s Kung-Fu Theater:  “Do you understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth?”  Not likely, but they were subtitled in English for our viewing pleasure and it created a cultural joke that has endured.

2.  Sunday Night’s Wonderful World of Disney:  As a kid, I used to look forward to this all week.

3.  Wild Kingdom (or how most of us remember it: Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom):  I know there’s a whole channel (maybe more) dedicated to animals now, but this was a cool show.

4.  ABC’s Wide World of Sports:  Again, we now have Fox Soccer Channel, multiple ESPN channels, Versus, and more, but this was a cool way to show a variety of sports.

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