There are the guys in there that have a coordinated outfit…if they are Nike fans, they’ve got the Nike shirt and matching Nike shorts or Nike sweat pants and socks and Nike shoes with colors that are complimentary (substitute any brand name). These guys are wearing their jewelry…rings, necklaces…and you never see them actually do any exercise. They may go the extra yard to complete the illusion of being there to workout by hanging a towel around their neck. These guys aren’t difficult to spot, either, because aside from their snappy (?) wardrobe, they are fairly loud as they talk to everyone in the gym. Why do they talk to everyone? Because they know them all from all the time they spend in the gym not working out and chatting everyone up. The other thing that adds to their illusion is that most of these guts are thin…which makes it believable that they do workout.

There are the hardcore weight lifters.  In baggy sweat pants or shorts that are too small and too tight, with muscle shirts or sweatshirts with the arms ripped off, these guys won’t be caught dead on a weight “machine”…it’s free weights only because while dropping the stack of weights on the weight machines may be frown upon, it wracks up cool points to lift heavy weights and drop them like the dead lift guys at the Olympics.  Well, it scores points with the other guys who are into that.  The rest of us cringe and wonder how many times of that happening before the weights go through the floor.  These guys look like this:

Of course, there’s also the ultra competitives.  These guys show up in any combination of clothing, from fashion victim to “did they pick that out in the dark?”  On the weight machines, they risk hurting themselves because, as long as anyone is in the gym and might see how little weight they are using, they tack on ten to fifteen to twenty pounds more than they can really handle and strain as they move the stacks, not quite completing each set.  Then they get on the treadmill (or elliptical machine or stair stepper) and start jogging.  Then someone else jumps on the machine next to them and Mr. Competitive has to sneak a peak at how fast the competition is going and increase his speed to make sure he’s running faster.  Of course, it doesn’t matter if he can’t sustain the pace.  He struggles on, trying to keep the game face, but getting more and more out of breath until they have to admit defeat and hit the ‘cooldown’ button and hope they don’t do a faceplant on the treadmill.  And if the person who hops up on the treadmill is a chick, he’s toast.  He’d die before letting her run at a faster pace than he does.

Take a look around you, nothing’s what it seems
We’re living in the broken home of hopes and dreams
Let me be the first to shake a helping hand
Anybody brave enough to take a stand
I knocked on every door down every dead end street
Looking for forgiveness and what’s left to believe?

Enjoy the video and…Have a nice day!!!

There are the ladies in the tight shirts or cropped shirts or shirts that accentuate the fact that they are wearing pushup bras or bras that certainly weren’t worn for the purposes of holding their jiggling parts in control during exercise.  Along with these tops, spandex pants or shorts usually accompany these tops.  First, ladies, we all know that just because they make spandex that you can fit into doesn’t mean you should squeeze into them, right? Second, spandex is not always the best material for all types of workouts.  Generally, the ladies wearing these outfits are completely made up and flit around on a piece or two of cardio equipment trying not to break a sweat because they aren’t really there to exercise.

The ladies who are there to workout may still have on a cute, figure flattering outfit if they are in shape, but they are found pounding away on the treadmill, pedaling their buns off, or pumping away on the elliptical machines…or getting their sweat on in one of the classes, like Zumba.  They are nearly oblivous to the people around them and find it annoying when dumb asses try to get their attention or otherwise interrupt their workouts.

Then there are the really hardcore ladies who not only get their sweat on, but also like to feel that muscle burn that comes from hitting the weights or weight machines…hard.  they have no qualms about making noise and showing a straining face as they pump out those last few reps of a set.  They don’t have time for knuckleheads either:  Leave them alone or feel embarassed because they can push more than you.

Tune in tomorrow when I’ll talk about the fellas.

I know this is a generalization and I know that most folks to whom this post applies will read this and think “That’s not me!”  But guess what?  A lot of you are.

If you own, or plan to own, a land yacht or giant truck/SUV/whatever, learn to drive it AND park it well.

What I really don’t like about the State of the Union address is the official Rebuttal by the opposition party.  We’ve already heard the well-written drivel presented in magnificent fashion by the current President…taking up too much of our entertainment time.  Now we listen to another politician spew forth a more hastily written speech to refute anything the President claimed was positive, and concur with anything the President said was wrong.  Really?  What’s the freaking point of this Rebuttal???  Not a darn thing and here’s why:  Folks that are fans of the President are going to like what he said and you’re not going to turn them against him or his party.  As for the folks who don’t like the President, you’re just preaching to the choir…they already don’t like him and the State of the Union address isn’t going to make them stop and think “Wow!  He’s great.  I should be a fan of his and his party.”

As I said up front, I didn’t watch it this year so this isn’t aimed specifically at the current President and his opposition party.  This stupid Rebuttal thing started before he ever got in office.  I know they were rebutting ‘Dubya’ and it may have started long before that.  Maybe it’s been going on since we had the State of the Union address on TV.  I don’t know.  Don’t really care.  It’s ridiculous.  Instead of wasting time on this kind of crap, they should be figuring out how to solve some of our problems and get their Congressional Approval ratings out of the toilet.  I wonder if they have to pay for their TV air time and, if so, how much…would it have been enough to provide cost of living adjustments to those government employees who saw inflation and healthcare costs go up again this year?

But here’s my problem with dumping all over him because he missed that kick.  The Ravens should have put the ball in the end zone more than they did.  Their defense should have prevented the Patriots from scoring as much as they did.  If either of those happens, Cundiff doesn’t even have to jog out onto the field with the clock winding down to attempt the kick.

If I’m building a team, I don’t want to need a Pro Bowl level kicker.  I want one who never misses an extra point, because I want an offense that scores touchdowns on every drive…not one that gets into the other teams half of the field and gets stopped so that my kicker has to do the scoring for us.  I want a team that doesn’t need a place kicker because one of my back-up linemen or backup quarterback can be taught how to kick well enough to hit extra points.  I want a defense that prevents the other team from scoring touchdowns.  Even if we give up two field goals for every touchdown we score, as long as my backup lineman can hit the extra point, we’re still winning.

It would be great to root for a team whose ad for a kicker included the line:  Pro Bowl Kickers Need Not Apply.

Since you’ve [Hollywood] such a lack of quality, original writing, I’m going to help you out with some suggestions for ways to cover your collective asses in a way that benefits us all.

Bring back:

1.  Saturday’s Kung-Fu Theater:  “Do you understanding the words that are coming out of my mouth?”  Not likely, but they were subtitled in English for our viewing pleasure and it created a cultural joke that has endured.

2.  Sunday Night’s Wonderful World of Disney:  As a kid, I used to look forward to this all week.

3.  Wild Kingdom (or how most of us remember it: Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom):  I know there’s a whole channel (maybe more) dedicated to animals now, but this was a cool show.

4.  ABC’s Wide World of Sports:  Again, we now have Fox Soccer Channel, multiple ESPN channels, Versus, and more, but this was a cool way to show a variety of sports.

Ruggero Leoncavallo turned a clown into a jealous husband turned murderer in his most famous opera, Pagliacci.

Hollywood seems happy to feed the creepy, crazy clown image, too.

Poltergeist:

Killer Klowns From Outer Space:

For a more serious read-up on Clowns:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clown

Where’d this grand appreciation for music come from?  A lot of it had to do with my parents.  Here’s what I heard when my Dad was in the mood on the weekend to play his albums:

Sly & The Family Stone:

The Doobie Brothers:

The Hollies:

Four Tops:

Blood, Sweat & Tears:

Marvin Gaye:

And while Mom listened to some of the music that my Dad liked, especially the Oldies, her favorite albums didn’t generally rock quite as much:

Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand:

Carpenters (later a big hit for Luther Vandross):

Jim Croce:

If the Bee Gees were playing when we got home from school, it was a pretty safe bet Mom was cleaning the house:

And my Mom’s favorite song from a corny TV show we watched as a family, Joey Scarbury’s ‘Believe It Or Not (Theme to The Greatest American Hero)’:

Now, I picked up a lot of my tastes along the way, too, but my collection of LPs started with the first record my parents gave me for Christmas one year…KISS’s ‘Dynasty’:

And now, when I’m driving my daughters around, I introduce them to some great music they’d not likely hear on the radios in school or at their friends houses or music players.  We listen to it all.  Some of it they like, some of it they aren’t as fond of.  Lately, my younger daughter (9 years old) has come to appreciate Chicago and their blend rockin’ guitars and drums with some great horns…and I have to agree with my Dad that early Chicago is so much more musically interesting than the mid/late 80′s and 90′s version.  My daughter has actually asked me to put it on.  Here’s one of early Chicago’s live performances of ’25 or 6 to 4′:

I Love Music and am doing what I can to provide my daughters with a broad exposure to the many types of music and some of the great and classic artists and songs of the past.  Hopefully, they’ll love it as much as I do and, in turn, pass it on to their kids when they have them.